Tomorrow marks two months since Dad passed away. I think about him everyday, some days I smile, some days I cry.

My thoughts are predominantly about how Dad won’t be there for so many of my years in the future.

He won’t be there when I start a family and to see his grandkids. He won’t be there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He won’t be there to go to the races with anymore, one of our favourite days out. He won’t be there to show me all of the places in the UK that he worked and met so many of his friends. He won’t be there to share stories of his childhood and show me his old haunts back in Drogheda. He won’t be there when I buy my first house, to come and celebrate finally settling down. He won’t be there to provide me with advice and reassurance on the smallest qualm I have.

However, Dad will be with me through all of these moments. Whenever I have uneasy thoughts, I think of what Dad would say and take comfort in everything he’s taught me growing up and in later years.

I take comfort in the fact that he’s not trying to deal with his horrible illness anymore. He’s not trying to put on a brave face to spare pain to his family. He’s not going for endless rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, knowing it can only extend his days, not give him his life back. He’s not cooped up in a hospital room, surrounding by unwell people and negativity. He’s not carrying the burden of all this anymore.

He is however a constant inspiration. He will forever be the strongest man I’ve known. I am so proud to be his daughter and hope I can only have half his strength during the rest of my life.

These two months have flown by but there is years of more pain ahead. Not just for me but for my family and his friends.

I’m already looking forward to sitting and having a chat with you in Monasterboice when I’m home next, whenever that will be. Forever my hero.

– Jovi